When The Earth Moves

I experienced my first earthquake three years ago in Alaska.  You can read about that experience here.  It was pretty neat, in that never-been-through-this-before kind of way.  But it was also sort of expected, I mean, I lived in Alaska at the time.

So now I'm in St. Louis.  While there is a large faultline running through this area (and I remember in elementary school in Maryland the big deal made about it - an earthquake in St. Louis would level Maryland was something of how the story went), it's pretty inactive.  You just don't expect earthquakes pretty much anywhere east of the Rockies in this country.

So imagine my surprise when I wake up this morning, and everyone is talking about the big earthquake last night.  Turns out it was a 5.2 in southeastern Illinois and happened around 4:40 AM.  I slept through it.  That's my thing.  I sleep through earthquakes, hurricanes, sonic booms from landing space shuttles, my alarm clock...

There have been aftershocks from the earthquake, the most recent and strongest was a 4.5 at 10:15 this morning.  I was awake for that one, kind of felt like the ground rolled.

Earthquakes, particularly for those not used to them, are very unsettling.  You don't expect the ground to move.  That's why we call it "ground."  We talk about standing on solid ground.  We count on it being secure, solid... and not moving.  When it does move, it throws our sense of "rightness" off.

This is the second time in three months that this area has had its sense of "rightness" shaken.  Then, it was the shocking shooting of people during a suburban community's council meeting.  Then, our sense of security and safety at home was shaken.  It was disconcerting and confusing for many.

And then the earth moves under your feet.  That which is supposed to be stable and secure is suddenly as unsure as a boat on the ocean.  It is disconcerting and confusing for many.  What is one to do?

These events in our lives, and there are many more that happen - from the mundane to the magnificent - provide us opportunity to evaluate where we truly place our hopes, our security, our future.  We have a chance to question what the bedrock foundations truly are in our lives, what is the "solid ground" upon which we set our lives?  That in which we had considered our foundation, our "solid ground" has been shaken - quite literally - where do we turn now?

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

- Matthew 7:24-27

Hold The Light

For the first quarter of 2008, I've been preaching a series on Prayer, using the book of Psalms as our guide.  We've looked at Psalm 1, 139, 51, 27 and this week we're looking at Psalm 88.  This is probably one of the most depressing passages in all of Scripture, surpassed only by the first 2 1/2 chapter of Lamentations.  Passages like these, the brutal, raw honesty of faith being tested and challenged, of questioning where God is in the midst of the absurd messiness of life, is one of the reasons why I am convinced the Bible is true.

The sermon, in a nutshell, is an exploration of how are we to pray when there is no hope, when the lights have gone out, when we don't even know if there is a god to listen to our pleas.  As the Psalmist laments, "the darkness is my only friend."  The truth is that, at some point in the life of the believer, there will come "the dark night of the soul," that point when superficial platitudes and platonic words of encouragement are revealed to be as shallow as a wading pool.  Ultimately, all we can do is hold the light.  The Psalmist does this in the opening line of the Psalm: "O Lord, the God who saves me..."

We'll follow the sermon with communion - a physical act of holding the light.  Of saying, together with our brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what, I will trust that the promises of God are true and that I am not alone.  The act of communion will be a way to enable us to enter into the Word of God in a very real, tangible manner.   To help people connect with this, the praise band is going to sing Caedmon Call's "Hold the Light" during communion.  Why this song?

Because it speaks directly to this time of struggle and questioning, of wrestling with God and wondering where He is in all of this.  It is the story of two friends who have been sharing their lives and walking with each other for two years, a time during which one of them faced an incredible time of wrestling, doubting, being angry and bitter toward God.  The friend offered no judgement, doing the only thing he could do: hold the light for his friend.  This is fairly obvious through most of the lyrics.  But there comes a problem.

See, the bridge is kind of confusing.  It goes like this: "standing around a willow weeping/we were praying in the backyard/in the chill of the night/the friendship light reminded me who we are."

What does that have to do with the rest?  I think it's something like this:  In the midst of this struggle, we sometimes get to a point of not being able to hold the light on our own.  When our brothers and sisters stand with us in the struggle, their faithful presence - to us and to God - reminds us who we are.  Who are we?  

We are the redeemed, the chosen, the beloved, the never-abandoned children of God.  Even when we see no hope and can't hold the light ourselves, God has not abandoned us.  The community of faith, standing with us in the midst of the cold, dark struggle (and that's the key), is the presence of God that holds the light we are to use to find our way through the darkness.  We aren't meant to get there on our own.

As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. - Joshua 1:5

spiritual hydration

I am a notoriously poor hydrator.  What I mean is, I rarely drink enough water to keep myself hydrated.  That particularly was an issue on the mission trips this summer.  The first day in Mississippi and in Mexico were much harder on me than they should have been due to the fact that I hadn't been drinking enough water and didn't drink enough while working.  Being dehydrated just simply isn't any fun.  That's the obvious part.  What isn't so obvious is how important hydration is to day-to-day living.

We rarely realize how beneficial remaining hydrated is to our regular activities and life.  We know we need to drink water when exercising or working outdoors, but there's a reason why we need to keep ourselves hydrated - 64 oz daily is what "they" say we need.  What with our bodies being 75% water, staying hydrated keeps us functioning at our best.  It's a subtle thing, though.  It isn't like a shot of Gatorade, caffeine or sugar - or something else - that gives you a relatively instant shot of energy.  It's just a simple truth that you aren't as good dehydrated as you are hydrated.  It may not be a difference you notice immediately, if at all, but it is still a difference.  When we are dehydrated, not only does our physical body suffer, but so does our mental and emotional capacities.

Remember:  If you're feeling thirsty, you're already dehydrated.

What struck me a few weeks ago, though, was that the same thing is true spiritually.  If you've grown up in the church - attending worship, sunday school, youth groups, etc. - then surely at some point in time you've been encouraged or even admonished to practice spiritual disciplines such as spending regular time in prayer and reading the Bible.  It's probably been stated to you in some form of "there is nothing more important to your day and your life than taking the time to do these."  And, you've probably put forward a good effort every now and then to do so - only to find time for prayer and reading the Bible to be the first thing that goes when the schedule gets full.  And, frankly, who notices?  Everything seems just as good when you do take the time for these spiritual disciplines as when you don't.

But they aren't.  And as important to our physical well being as it is to stay hydrated, it is even more important to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being to stay spiritually hydrated.  Being intentional will impact all areas of our being, not just our spirit.

As much as I struggle with staying hydrated, it is also hard to stay spiritually hydrated.  I think it's harder for pastors.  We spend our time every day in the Word, praying with people, delving into spiritual matters.  It's easy to rationalize the importance of this away.  Over the past year or so, I have been making a concerted effort to improve this area.

Eugene Peterson refers to this as working the angles in a book of the same name.  If the angles in a triangle aren't right, it doesn't matter how long or true the lines are - they'll never connect.  The three angles Peterson refers to are prayer, scripture and spiritual direction.  If we don't take care of the angles, every thing else falls apart.

The thing is, by the time we think we need to pray we're already spiritually dehydrated.  

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?"  (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)  The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)  Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."  "Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?  Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." 

- John 4:7-14

Hydrate or die.

confrontation and conviction

I don't know if there is anything more difficult than going to a brother or sister in Christ and confronting them in their sin.  Well, anything more difficult than being on the receiving end of the confrontation, that is.  It is so hard to do something like that, and so hard to hear it.  

On the confronting side, what if you're wrong?  What if it's your own sinfulness causing you to misread or misunderstand someone else?  What if it's your petty differences that are the real issues, not issues of sin?  What if the other person won't listen?  What if they don't like me any more?  What might they say to others as a result?  And on, and on.

On the receiving side, what if they're right?  How dare someone else say these things to me?  Who are you to judge me, as if you knew what goes on in my head?  How could someone think these things about me?  What gives you the right to say this?  And on, and on.

Yet, we are called to both give and receive this sort of confrontation.  Take, for example these two words from Christ:

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that the brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift.  - Matthew 5:23-24

If a brother or sister sins, go and point out the fault, just between the two of you alone. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they refuse to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.  - Matthew 18:15-17

The responsibility rests on both parties in an issue.  If someone has something against you, go and seek reconciliation.  If you have something against someone else, go and seek reconciliation.  Not a whole lot of wiggle room there, and there's certainly nothing in there about whether it will be hard or easy.  Jesus knows - it's going to be hard, therefore it doesn't need to be said.

But it's the hard things in life that are often the most worthy.  Especially when it comes to confronting sinful behavior in the body of Christ.  When you are sick or have a cut, you attend to it with medical care, knowing that if you don't it will only fester and get worse.  Eventually leading toward greater problems throughout your body.  So it is with our sinfulness.  If left unchecked or if not confronted in love by our brothers and sisters, it will fester, rot and spread throughout the body of Christ.

By being faithful in this hard thing, every party involved benefits.  The two immediate parties, the confrontor and the confrontee, are able to find or initiate a process of reconciliation.  Should sin actually be involved, conviction followed by repentance is given opportunity. And the community around the two parties, the body of Christ, is given opportunity to experience health and wholeness that otherwise wouldn't occur.

Two brothers met with me today, and it was a hard but worthy conversation.  Frankly, I am very convicted of some areas in my life in which I need to grow.  There is much on which to reflect, pray and examine.  But none of us would have this opportunity if there hadn't been the courage to confront to begin with.

Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

provision

I've often thought that God has a funny sense of humor when it comes to provision.  To be honest, I don't actually find it all that funny.

While in seminary, my wife worked at a church while I was a student full-time.  Every once in a while, a gift of support would come our way.  Sometimes it would be a check, sometimes someone would pay our rent for a month or two.  Almost always it was anonymous.  But after the third gift, I began to notice a pattern.

Within a few days or a week of receiving the gift, something would happen.  Something like the hydraulic tensioner (it's the thing that uses hydraulics to keep tension on the timing belt on a car engine) breaking, thus causing the engine to, well, break.  In nearly every circumstance, the gift we received was within a few dollars of the something that then happened.

It got to the point that I would start wondering when the other shoe was going to fall every time someone would send us a support check.  I mean, as much as I appreciated the provision that God was providing, I was actually pretty happy with the engine I'd had in the car and would have preferred that it not break at all...

Well, that was several years ago (wow... 6, to be exact.  Time flies...).  But something happened this past week that reminded me of that incident.  We returned from two weeks of vacation to a very warm house - our air conditioning was not working.  I couldn't get it to start.  Since it was a Sunday, and the next day was Labor Day, I decided we'd sweat it out until Tuesday when I could make a service call and not pay emergency, holiday rates.

Turns out pretty much our entire air conditioning system is hosed.  Sweet.  And the estimate of the repair is, well, a lot of money.

Now, we never received our federal tax return, which was supposedly mailed in early June.  After signing off on the estimate for the A/C work, I filled out the form to request a new tax return check be issued.  I "happened" to look at the amount of the return.  

$30 more than the cost of the A/C repair.

Still not laughing.