Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Egocentrism

The inherent egocentrism of blogging is staring me in the face right now. Please understand that I in no way think that this whole crisis that my family is going through is all about me, or that I'm trying to make it all about me. I am fully aware that what I'm feeling and going through is but a fraction of what my wife feels right now.

Hopefully, 'nuff said.

Heavy times...

The previous post was part of an essay I wrote last year. It came about as a result of several months of serving as a hospital chaplain and two classes I was taking at the time - Prophets and Theology of Ministry. I don't really think that the essay provides any clear answers, and the depth and profundity that I felt while writing it (and feel now, rereading and posting it) may well only exist in my own mind - a result of the life experiences and study that I have been through. Perhaps, lacking the same experiences and study one might not be able to connect to it, I don't know.

But I do know this: I spent ten months meeting others in the midst of their pain and suffering; hearing mothers ask me if God was punishing her son, who had just been the driver in a car accident in which a passenger died, for her sins; wondering why the wicked prosper and the just suffer; of cognitively trying to understand the relationships between faithful obedience and blessing as well as sinful disobedience and curses. The essay is my attempt to work through this.

I also know this: these words ring true to me, even now, in the midst of my own struggling. The last day has been ugly. What other way is there to say it? My wife almost died yesterday, and the baby we didn't know we had did die. In short, we had an ectopic pregnancy. There isn't enough room or time for a long version. My wife is doing well now. Hopefully she'll come home from the hospital tomorrow. Peter's been at home the whole time playing with various ladies from the church. I don't even think he's noticed that we've not been around much.

But there is a persistent ache right now, and a feeling that there is something out there that is threatening to overwhelm and consume me. I think my wife feels the same thing, but is too worn out and drugged to worry about it much. So I smile and nod and do my best not to think about what almost happened and what did happen. At least I won't be consumed by that thing out there that way...

...but I wonder, am I missing Jesus in doing so?

Is that a price I am willing to pay to avoid hurting?

Is that to show the trust I spoke of at the end of that essay?

Those are rhetorical questions, by the way. I need to answer them... you don't.

God bless.

Heavy Thoughts...

Thoughts on Covenant Dynamics, Sin, Suffering, Human Responsibility

Covenant dynamics (Deut 28):
Obedience & Loyalty to God = blessings in nature and war
Disobedience = curses in nature and war

When we experience times of hardship, suffering, illness, etc, the first thing it seems we are called to do, Scripturally, is search our own heart, with the Lord’s convicting assistance, for habitual sins that we haven’t yet or aren’t willing to acknowledge (Ps 132). Even simply asking the question is a significant step in the right direction. The reality is, the Disciples were right to ask whose sin resulted in the man being born blind (John 9:1), although they were operating within a box too small. For them, and for Job’s friends, suffering was viewed as a mathematical, binary equation: Someone sins, someone suffers. Jesus broadened their horizons...and ours as well. Every temporal misfortune is not always the result of God’s punitive judgment for some specific sin. It is a question to ask, an option to explore, but not one to get “locked into.”

The message of Job and Romans 9 is that there are no easy answers. We don’t know the whole story, we can’t see “beyond the veil.” Our responsibility is to remain faithful in times of fortune and misfortune. It is a test of our faith and our devotion. It is in the times of hardship and suffering that the questions come fast and furious. It is not wrong to ask the questions (Proverbs 25:2). The error comes in demanding an answer to those questions. Answers are sometimes provided, more often are not. We have been given ample reason to trust in the Lord and His ways in Scripture. Time and again we are shown God caring for and tending to His people. Even in their disobedience, even when He was punishing them, His tender hand is always present. Time and again our Lord emphasizes that He is working all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Is it not similar to the tender love a parent offers his child? Whether the child does wrong and needs to be punished or just comes on a run of bum luck, her father constantly encourages and affirms his child - "It’s for the best, it’ll work out in the end, you’ll see.” Based on past experience, the child trusts her father. Even if she can’t see it at the time, she eventually will.

That eventuality may not come for the Christian this side of heaven, but it will come. Some say that once we get to heaven those questions won’t matter. Maybe not, but it is there that answers will be made available, if the questions are still hanging in the air.

So does God punish children for the sins of the parents? Yes, according to Exodus 20:5, 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Jeremiah 11:22-23, but not according to Ezekiel 18 and Jeremiah 31:29-30. Both individual responsibility and corporate responsibility are taught in Scripture. Both need to be held together, in balance. But even in the Old Covenant, the punishment of the children to the 3rd and 4th generation could be avoided if the children repented and served the Lord obediently and faithfully - this can be seen in the lives of Joseph and Josiah.

Is the doctrine/concept of corporate responsibility abrogated in the New Covenant (cf. Jeremiah 31:29-30, but also 32:18)? It certainly seems that a primary component of the New Covenant is individual responsibility - if you are experiencing physical hardship, it is not due to your parents sins. If you, as a parent, see your children suffering physical hardship, or born with it, it is not because of your own sin. Yet there are consequences of sin, if not intentional punishment, that extend to the community. James tells believers to confess their sins to one another (5:16).
Of course, that begs the question of exactly what is the nature of the “consequences of sins”? Is it possible to have consequences and them not be punishments? Are not the consequences written into the very fabric of the universe, of nature? Is it not a cause and effect relationship? “Do good, get good...do bad, get bad.” Obviously that phrase is an oversimplification, but that does seem to be the heart of Galatians 6:9 & Romans 8:12-14. Sin, evil, etc. distort and contort this dynamic in our world, but ultimately this is the case. So does it stand to reason that the consequences of sin, the natural results of sinful behavior, are indeed punishments from God, but punishments written into the fabric of nature...in much the same way that violating the law of gravity results in a squashed brain?

It just can’t be boiled down to a multiple-choice question. There are an infinite number of reasons and purposes why something is happening. We can ask the Lord about it, but must content ourselves with no answer.

The End of the Matter: Trust. Serve the Lord faithfully, be obedient, ask for forgiveness, hold nothing back. Trust. Search your own heart, and ask God to search it for you. Trust. We can be faithful throughout this process, in times of health and sickness, because, as Paul reminds us, we are strengthened by Christ Jesus himself (Philippians 4:13).

Thoughts on the Fellowship of His Sufferings and the Power of His Resurrection

Adding to the complexity of the issue of suffering in our lives comes the constant exhortation on the part of the New Testament authors to celebrate, rejoice and delight in the sufferings that come our way, especially when they are, as best as we can tell, unprovoked on our part. We live in a world at war. Many times it is a literal, physical war. All the time it is a spiritual war. The forces of darkness are doing everything they can to resist and hold off the advance of the Kingdom of God. Those who serve the Lord faithfully and boldly will find themselves on the front lines of the battle. What is our attitude toward this?

There is a scene in the movie, We Were Soldiers, where a young, brash, eager major leads his troops in a chase after a North Vietnamese soldier. The end result was that they walked into a trap and ended up cut off from the rest of the force for several days. The major was one of the first to go down. As he was dying he said, “I’m just glad I was able to die for my country.” The constant refrain found in the New Testament seems to be, “I’m just glad I might be able to die for my Lord.” For them, the possibility of death was a motivating rather than demotivating factor. How far we, in our middle-class, white-picket-fence, suburban Christian subculture are from that sort of passionate attitude.

They say that those who are afraid of death never truly live. They, out of a desire to protect themselves from the possibility of dying or striving for some sort of immortality, shy away from the challenges, risks and adventures that really help us understand what life is all about. We live our lives envious of those who do push the limits and take the challenges, wondering what it is that they’ve got that we don’t. It strikes me that Christians have more reason to be out on the edge, or maybe less of a reason to stay away from it, than non-Christians. The power of death has been broken, it’s sting has been lost. There is no reason to fear death, so why live trying to avoid it? By taking the risks, by fearlessly following Christ wherever he might lead, we willingly walk into sufferings and trials. Why? So that with Paul we might be able to say that we “know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings” (Phil 3:11).

Pain and suffering is the refining fire that purifies our soul and softens our hard hearts so that we can be molded in the image of God. Without the refining fire, metal can never be purified. Without the refining fire of suffering, we can never be purified of our sin either. There is a popular slogan quoted by many who aspire to be physically fit: no pain, no gain. We intentionally inflict damage on our muscle cells, knowing that the only way to strengthen them is to tear them. The only way we can be molded in the image of Christ is to be torn. As Christians, we are called to seek out opportunities that may result in suffering. But the Christian does that with great hope, hope in this life and the life to come. It is not a self-serving motivation, but a God-glorifying one.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Baptisms and Installations


Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been! My parents were in town last week, and my in-laws this week, overlapping on the weekend. This past Sunday, as many of you know, Peter was baptized in the morning and Tom and I were installed in the evening.

Peter's baptism was a wonderful event, made all the moreso by several things: Peter was baptized by someone who is becoming a very dear friend - Tom (at left in the picture). Bill Craig, my friend, mentor and former pastor from my home church was able to be there (next to Tom in the pic). And of course, Peter's grandparents were able to be there (from the right: Peter's maternal grandparents and then his paternal grandparents). Peter is now officially a child of the covenant, which in no way secures his salvation but does hold him, his parents, the church and God to certain promises (covenants). I am thrilled to have him grow in faith and maturity in this congregation of believers.

The installation was powerful and, frankly, probably one of the best installations ever recorded in Presbyterian history. I mean, seriously, when has it ever happened that three Presbyterian ministers preached and the service came in under 70 minutes? A friend of Tom's, the Rev. Joelle Beller, preached the sermon based on Joshua 1:9.

Bill Craig laid the charge on the congregation - emphasizing their role as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ rather than focusing on the importance of their doing everything Tom and I tell them to do. While I like the idea of the latter, I suspect the former was more important and biblical. Nerts.

Dr. David Dobler, former moderator of the PC(USA) and current Executive Presbyter of the Presbytery of the Yukon, laid the charge on me and Tom. His text came from 2 Timothy 4:1-5:
1 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-- with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

Wow. Frankly, I was hoping he would stop with the reading of the Word. But no, he had to continue on to, with scalpel-like precision, apply it to both of us. A heavy burden indeed - I am glad that I don't have to carry it alone.

So there's a brief summary of Sunday for those of you who were unable to make it. Know that we missed you all dearly and that you are often in our prayers and on our minds.

God bless.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

On Top Of The World...


...or on top of Anchorage, at least. I have to confess, climbing 1,300 feet in a mile and a half was a bit taxing for this very-out-of-shape-and-recently-moved-from-Florida person. Was it worth it? Oh my yes. In the picture you can see the Anchorage bowl spread out behind me. Flattop Mountain is about 3,000 feet high, so it is by far not very tall - at least by Alaska mountain standards, but it is on the very edge of the Chugach Mountains, and it is pretty much a straight shot down the front of the mountain into the southern end of the city. I am sitting here at Burger King (did you know that Burger King at Dimond and Old Seward in Anchorage has free wireless internet? Now you do...) looking at it right now. It really is a striking mountain, considering that it has, well, a very flat top. That short dayhike has certainly wet my appetite for exploring the wonders that these mountains and valleys around Anchorage hold.

If you're in the area and are interested in going for a hike, let me know! I'll find the time in my schedule to make it happen.

God bless.