Monday, November 14, 2005

Initiating Prayer


Two posts ago I quoted a passage from Spiritual Theology by Simon Chan. I've been reading this book for about three years now and am almost halfway through. It's not that it's that long, not very good (it's actually quite excellent) or that I'm a slow reader. It's two things, really: On one hand, the portions I read are really profound and I keep putting the book down to process what was written. On the other hand, and maybe because it takes me a while to process what's been written, I don't pick the book up very often.

One of the things I have long struggled with is daily, habitual prayer. I put a salve on my conscious by maintaining that I "pray continuously," as Paul exhorts the Thessalonians to do in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, but I know the truth: I don't even do that very well. It struck me the other evening as I lay in bed that I hadn't prayed in days. Ok, I think I prayed with my family before each meal we had together...but that's about it. Frankly, I don't think that counts, despite my attempts to make those prayers more "real" by throwing in other things besides thanking God for the food on the table in front of me.

I think this struggle of mine has its roots in two things: First, I have always been a healthy procrastinator and maintaining any sort of disciplined activity or exercise has just never happened for me. Second, I grew up in the church and can't remember a day that I didn't know Jesus as Lord and Savior and have been (mostly) surrounded by the sacred and the spiritual my entire life - thusly, I have never felt the extreme need or pressure to spend time daily in prayer. If I'm honest, it's probably just the first one, but by including the other I can blame someone else and therefore claim victim status and not do anything about it. Let's stick with my delusion, ok?

Recently I have felt pangs of desire to engage with God more often and regularly (What, a 5 minute drive-by right before dinner every couple of months isn't good enough for Him? Yeesh! How picky and demanding!). It has seemed to me that these pangs have been my soul gasping somewhat for air, yearning to connect to its Life-Source. These pangs have, for the most part, only managed to add to my guilt regarding my highly inadequate prayer life. My response has been to pray that God would give me a greater desire (and a discipline outside myself) to connect with him. Something I read in Spiritual Theology this evening has changed my understanding of what's happening here:

It is always God who calls men to keep company with him, never the other way about. His call may indeed sometimes come to us in the form of a desire for prayer and contemplation; but we shall not have got very far before he makes it clear that the initiative is still and always in his hands. (Simon Tugwell, Prayer, quoted on pg 128-129)

You see, before I prayed it God was already answering my prayer. In fact, the desire to pray for the desire to pray was placed there by God. Before I turned to pursue God, He had already pursued and caught me. While I sit here thinking I have moved so far from God and wondering if I will ever be able to cross the distance back to Him, He has already come to me. Frankly (and I feel kind of stupid saying this...I mean, I have been to seminary, after all...), I'm finding that I'm quite astonished by this. He is still pursuing, chasing, courting, romancing, loving, reaching out to me - even now, after walking with Him for 17 years. I tell folks that don't know Him about His passionate pursuit of them, but I don't think I quite got the part that He continues the pursuit with just as much passion even after we respond and become His.

Maybe I should have paid more attention during my Old Testament classes.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Emperor Has No Clothes

The Time: Friday Night.
The Situation: Mom's on a retreat, it's Dad's weekend on the job - alone.
The Problem: Jammies that don't have a top snap.

That little whippersnapper took his pajamas off! You can see them, right there, bundled up in the bottom right of the picture...yaknow, next to his blanket? He completely undressed himself...except for his diaper. And that, I am sure, is only because he fell asleep before he could get it off. What a nut.

Peter had his 18 month checkup today. He's doing pretty well. He's a bit tiny in weight, still got a stinker of a big head, and has some sort of rash on his back that will take 3 weeks to 3 years to go away. Woohoo. That's the part I'm excited about. No, really. I mean, who doesn't like a good rash that, like a bad penny, never goes away? He still hasn't really started talking yet, although tonight he did say 'bah tie' after his dad said 'Bath Time'. I think that counts. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, October 23, 2005

"My" Church

The purpose of Christian formation is not developing a better self-image, achieving self-fulfillment or finding self-affirmation; nor is it the development of individualistic qualities that make singularly outstanding saints. Rather, it is developing certain qualities that enable us to live responsibly within the community that we have been baptized into. Virtues are ecclesially based. The theological virutes of faith, hope and charity make the best sense (if not the only sense) for Christians when they are lived out in the Christian community as the "peaceable kingdom." Spiritual Theology, pg 103.

I guess that pretty much shoots the idea that church is for and about me in the foot. This quote seems to imply that the more we grow and mature, the greater our focus is on the community as a whole rather than me as an individual.

Isn't it amazing how so many seeming pillars of the church miss that?

Monday, October 10, 2005

The Truth Hurts...

Huh?: 7.7 <-- Be sure you read this!

Tony Campolo often begins his speeches this way: "I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night." The world crisis changes, but the point doesn't.

We, in our anglo-saxon, middle class, white-picket-fence lives, have our priorities so incredibly messed up. It is far more upsetting to me that it is costing nearly $30 to fill the tank in our Geo Prism then that people in the villages in Alaska probably won't be able to afford the heating oil they'll need next year. I am far more passionate about a computer that won't work right than I am about the thousands of students at the high school down the street who don't know Jesus. I'll spend hours and days on things that are ultimately meaningless and then claim I don't have time to do anything eternally meaningful.

And then I'll read things like Sean's post, Tony's comment, and this blog. Nod my head in a dour, serious, as-if-I'm-cut-to-the-core way, agree fully, and then go watch the TV.

C'mon, you know you're doing the same thing.

By the way, did you happen to notice the cover of People Magazine for the week of September 12, 2005? It was a double issue - pictures of the horrors and devestation of Hurricane Katrina and their best and worst dressed. How's that for ironic?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Where is the Moral Foundation?

The WB's new show, Supernatural, had its premiere tonight. Apparently, it follows a recent Hollywood trend as seen in Constantine, Catwoman and Four Brothers (among others, I am sure; links are to reviews from Christianity Today). On one hand, it's your basic good vs. evil kind of tale, but this tried-and-true formula has recently taken a new twist.

You see, in each of these movies and shows, the "hero" isn't really all that good. So where in the traditional storyline it's good/right vs. evil/wrong, now "good" doesn't seem to be a factor and "right" is, well, relative. I'm not even sure you can say that there is a protagonist and an antagonist to set against each other. No one seems to operate from within the framework of a moral foundation of any sort. There doesn't seem to be a sense of "greater good" or anything like that either.

In the case of Supernatural and Constantine, it is the supernatural evil, the demonic, that needs to be stopped. Using immoral means to do so is perfectly fine. There is no issue, no tension between upholding the right and avoiding the wrong, just so long as the evil is stopped.

It leaves me wondering about the cultural shift that lays behind these movies. Quite frankly, how can you have "good vs. evil" without "right vs. wrong"? Essentially, that is what is being portrayed in these shows. Note how the paradox plays out, at least as far as I've seen it: "Good" and "wrong" can exist semi-happily together, but you don't (yet) see "right" and "evil" coexisting in a character. Please point out an exception if you know it. So I guess the new paradigm is good/right-or-maybe-even-sorta-wrong vs. evil/really, really wrong. Integrity has become a non-issue.

Back to the cultural shift: What does this say about our cultural understanding of morality, right vs. wrong, good vs. evil? How does this affect what we do or say or teach as preachers, youth pastors, teachers, faithful Christians seeking to share their faith with those who do not know?

Maybe integrity just isn't a value that is...erm...valued anymore.

Just some thoughts.

Disclaimer: Constantine, Catwoman and Four Brothers should probably be watched with caution. I haven't seen the latter two, and Constantine definitely deserves its rating. Supernatural is pretty graphic for a TV show...up there with the CSI shows. Just because I'm posting about them doesn't mean I necessarily endorse them.

Friday, July 15, 2005

A Quarter-Turn Off Normal...

It's pretty much a given, I suppose, that things just aren't the same in Alaska as they are anywhere else in the USA. I was tempted to say the world, but there have got to be places that would make Alaska look like normal. Regardless, here is a brief sampling of some of the oddities I've noticed so far. Don't worry, I'm sure there will be more to share in a few months.

78 as bad as 98
That would be in reference to the temperature. It boggles the mind, I assure you. I also assure you that I did not acclimatize so quickly this winter that I can't handle a little bit of warm air. The reality is that 78 dry, dusty degrees with the sun directly overhead is pretty much just as oppressive as 98 wet, sticky degrees of Florida humidity. I suffered the delusion that Alaska summers would carry all of the beautiful delight of Florida winters. That's a load of hogwash. Don't get me wrong - I'll take dry heat over walking through air as thick as a sponge anytime.

Almost Dark at Midnight
I was up at midnight the other day, and it was almost dark. There are very few places in this fine world of ours where that declaration would be considered normal and carry a ring of good news. It should always be dark at midnight, right? Well, now that would be the reason why they call this the "Land of the Midnight Sun" - although you have to go north of Fairbanks for that to be literally true. No, I don't know what time the sun is rising - we now have very nice blackout blinds in our bedroom.

Weather - From East to West
The local weather pattern in Anchorage predominantely moves from east to west. That's just plain weird. Granted, the overall pattern in the region is still west to east. However, the systems come up into the Gulf of Alaska and slide along the coast. Since the rotation of a storm system is counter-clockwise, and Anchorage is pretty much always on the northern side of the systems, all I've seen so far is weather coming down out of the Chugach Mountains (which are to the east of Anchorage) and sliding off into the Cook Inlet (which is to the west of Anchorage). There were a few times in Florida where the seabreeze would be strong enough to blow storms from the Atlantic in to Orlando - but they were usually picked up by the prevailing winds and pushed back out east.

Weather - A Nearly Tropical Summer...
...in Barrow! Not really. I have no idea what "normal" is in Barrow (which is pretty much the northern-most point in Alaska, and therefore the country..duh), but I noticed in the weather forecast that the low is barely above freezing. That's nuts. Living in Barrow makes living anywhere else in this state seem perfectly rational and normal.

Otherwise things are just peachy here. Hope you are doing well also.

God bless.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Snow in July? Oh, Hail.

Isn't that the darndest thing? Enough hail fell on that mountain that it looked like snowfall. The thunderstorm that dropped that hail was one of the most intense on record in Anchorage. Apparently, Anchorage "normally" doesn't get thunderstorms, although they are becoming more frequent each year. 3 or 4 years ago, they were unheard of. It amazes me that the heat in Anchorage (which hardly ever hits 80 degrees), feels almost as stifling as it did in Florida (which rarely went below 95 degrees in the summertime). Given that, it doesn't surprise me that they've got thunderheads developing in the afternoons. Apparently, if the wind blows in from the Cook Inlet (which has very cool, if not cold, water), it pretty much eliminates any energy built up in the storms. There was no wind blowing in off the Inlet yesterday.

It's really quite frustrating. In Florida, I could see a thunderhead and be able to make a pretty good guess as to how long it would be before it hit. Here, the mountains just mess everything up. It is simply impossible to predict mountain weather with any certainty. Many people here criticize the weather people, but I sympathize with them. They've got a tough job, and I certainly wouldn't want it.

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In other news, Karey is doing very, very well. She has pretty much recovered. Every couple of days we talk about what happened. The past couple of months have been very hard for both of us, but the support we have received from family and friends, near and far, has been tremendous. Thank you to each and every one of you.

There's a lot that's been going on, and a lot I've been thinking about. Hopefully, I'll be able to find some time to share it with you.

Blessings,
David

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Egocentrism

The inherent egocentrism of blogging is staring me in the face right now. Please understand that I in no way think that this whole crisis that my family is going through is all about me, or that I'm trying to make it all about me. I am fully aware that what I'm feeling and going through is but a fraction of what my wife feels right now.

Hopefully, 'nuff said.

Heavy times...

The previous post was part of an essay I wrote last year. It came about as a result of several months of serving as a hospital chaplain and two classes I was taking at the time - Prophets and Theology of Ministry. I don't really think that the essay provides any clear answers, and the depth and profundity that I felt while writing it (and feel now, rereading and posting it) may well only exist in my own mind - a result of the life experiences and study that I have been through. Perhaps, lacking the same experiences and study one might not be able to connect to it, I don't know.

But I do know this: I spent ten months meeting others in the midst of their pain and suffering; hearing mothers ask me if God was punishing her son, who had just been the driver in a car accident in which a passenger died, for her sins; wondering why the wicked prosper and the just suffer; of cognitively trying to understand the relationships between faithful obedience and blessing as well as sinful disobedience and curses. The essay is my attempt to work through this.

I also know this: these words ring true to me, even now, in the midst of my own struggling. The last day has been ugly. What other way is there to say it? My wife almost died yesterday, and the baby we didn't know we had did die. In short, we had an ectopic pregnancy. There isn't enough room or time for a long version. My wife is doing well now. Hopefully she'll come home from the hospital tomorrow. Peter's been at home the whole time playing with various ladies from the church. I don't even think he's noticed that we've not been around much.

But there is a persistent ache right now, and a feeling that there is something out there that is threatening to overwhelm and consume me. I think my wife feels the same thing, but is too worn out and drugged to worry about it much. So I smile and nod and do my best not to think about what almost happened and what did happen. At least I won't be consumed by that thing out there that way...

...but I wonder, am I missing Jesus in doing so?

Is that a price I am willing to pay to avoid hurting?

Is that to show the trust I spoke of at the end of that essay?

Those are rhetorical questions, by the way. I need to answer them... you don't.

God bless.

Heavy Thoughts...

Thoughts on Covenant Dynamics, Sin, Suffering, Human Responsibility

Covenant dynamics (Deut 28):
Obedience & Loyalty to God = blessings in nature and war
Disobedience = curses in nature and war

When we experience times of hardship, suffering, illness, etc, the first thing it seems we are called to do, Scripturally, is search our own heart, with the Lord’s convicting assistance, for habitual sins that we haven’t yet or aren’t willing to acknowledge (Ps 132). Even simply asking the question is a significant step in the right direction. The reality is, the Disciples were right to ask whose sin resulted in the man being born blind (John 9:1), although they were operating within a box too small. For them, and for Job’s friends, suffering was viewed as a mathematical, binary equation: Someone sins, someone suffers. Jesus broadened their horizons...and ours as well. Every temporal misfortune is not always the result of God’s punitive judgment for some specific sin. It is a question to ask, an option to explore, but not one to get “locked into.”

The message of Job and Romans 9 is that there are no easy answers. We don’t know the whole story, we can’t see “beyond the veil.” Our responsibility is to remain faithful in times of fortune and misfortune. It is a test of our faith and our devotion. It is in the times of hardship and suffering that the questions come fast and furious. It is not wrong to ask the questions (Proverbs 25:2). The error comes in demanding an answer to those questions. Answers are sometimes provided, more often are not. We have been given ample reason to trust in the Lord and His ways in Scripture. Time and again we are shown God caring for and tending to His people. Even in their disobedience, even when He was punishing them, His tender hand is always present. Time and again our Lord emphasizes that He is working all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Is it not similar to the tender love a parent offers his child? Whether the child does wrong and needs to be punished or just comes on a run of bum luck, her father constantly encourages and affirms his child - "It’s for the best, it’ll work out in the end, you’ll see.” Based on past experience, the child trusts her father. Even if she can’t see it at the time, she eventually will.

That eventuality may not come for the Christian this side of heaven, but it will come. Some say that once we get to heaven those questions won’t matter. Maybe not, but it is there that answers will be made available, if the questions are still hanging in the air.

So does God punish children for the sins of the parents? Yes, according to Exodus 20:5, 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Jeremiah 11:22-23, but not according to Ezekiel 18 and Jeremiah 31:29-30. Both individual responsibility and corporate responsibility are taught in Scripture. Both need to be held together, in balance. But even in the Old Covenant, the punishment of the children to the 3rd and 4th generation could be avoided if the children repented and served the Lord obediently and faithfully - this can be seen in the lives of Joseph and Josiah.

Is the doctrine/concept of corporate responsibility abrogated in the New Covenant (cf. Jeremiah 31:29-30, but also 32:18)? It certainly seems that a primary component of the New Covenant is individual responsibility - if you are experiencing physical hardship, it is not due to your parents sins. If you, as a parent, see your children suffering physical hardship, or born with it, it is not because of your own sin. Yet there are consequences of sin, if not intentional punishment, that extend to the community. James tells believers to confess their sins to one another (5:16).
Of course, that begs the question of exactly what is the nature of the “consequences of sins”? Is it possible to have consequences and them not be punishments? Are not the consequences written into the very fabric of the universe, of nature? Is it not a cause and effect relationship? “Do good, get good...do bad, get bad.” Obviously that phrase is an oversimplification, but that does seem to be the heart of Galatians 6:9 & Romans 8:12-14. Sin, evil, etc. distort and contort this dynamic in our world, but ultimately this is the case. So does it stand to reason that the consequences of sin, the natural results of sinful behavior, are indeed punishments from God, but punishments written into the fabric of nature...in much the same way that violating the law of gravity results in a squashed brain?

It just can’t be boiled down to a multiple-choice question. There are an infinite number of reasons and purposes why something is happening. We can ask the Lord about it, but must content ourselves with no answer.

The End of the Matter: Trust. Serve the Lord faithfully, be obedient, ask for forgiveness, hold nothing back. Trust. Search your own heart, and ask God to search it for you. Trust. We can be faithful throughout this process, in times of health and sickness, because, as Paul reminds us, we are strengthened by Christ Jesus himself (Philippians 4:13).

Thoughts on the Fellowship of His Sufferings and the Power of His Resurrection

Adding to the complexity of the issue of suffering in our lives comes the constant exhortation on the part of the New Testament authors to celebrate, rejoice and delight in the sufferings that come our way, especially when they are, as best as we can tell, unprovoked on our part. We live in a world at war. Many times it is a literal, physical war. All the time it is a spiritual war. The forces of darkness are doing everything they can to resist and hold off the advance of the Kingdom of God. Those who serve the Lord faithfully and boldly will find themselves on the front lines of the battle. What is our attitude toward this?

There is a scene in the movie, We Were Soldiers, where a young, brash, eager major leads his troops in a chase after a North Vietnamese soldier. The end result was that they walked into a trap and ended up cut off from the rest of the force for several days. The major was one of the first to go down. As he was dying he said, “I’m just glad I was able to die for my country.” The constant refrain found in the New Testament seems to be, “I’m just glad I might be able to die for my Lord.” For them, the possibility of death was a motivating rather than demotivating factor. How far we, in our middle-class, white-picket-fence, suburban Christian subculture are from that sort of passionate attitude.

They say that those who are afraid of death never truly live. They, out of a desire to protect themselves from the possibility of dying or striving for some sort of immortality, shy away from the challenges, risks and adventures that really help us understand what life is all about. We live our lives envious of those who do push the limits and take the challenges, wondering what it is that they’ve got that we don’t. It strikes me that Christians have more reason to be out on the edge, or maybe less of a reason to stay away from it, than non-Christians. The power of death has been broken, it’s sting has been lost. There is no reason to fear death, so why live trying to avoid it? By taking the risks, by fearlessly following Christ wherever he might lead, we willingly walk into sufferings and trials. Why? So that with Paul we might be able to say that we “know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings” (Phil 3:11).

Pain and suffering is the refining fire that purifies our soul and softens our hard hearts so that we can be molded in the image of God. Without the refining fire, metal can never be purified. Without the refining fire of suffering, we can never be purified of our sin either. There is a popular slogan quoted by many who aspire to be physically fit: no pain, no gain. We intentionally inflict damage on our muscle cells, knowing that the only way to strengthen them is to tear them. The only way we can be molded in the image of Christ is to be torn. As Christians, we are called to seek out opportunities that may result in suffering. But the Christian does that with great hope, hope in this life and the life to come. It is not a self-serving motivation, but a God-glorifying one.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Baptisms and Installations


Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been! My parents were in town last week, and my in-laws this week, overlapping on the weekend. This past Sunday, as many of you know, Peter was baptized in the morning and Tom and I were installed in the evening.

Peter's baptism was a wonderful event, made all the moreso by several things: Peter was baptized by someone who is becoming a very dear friend - Tom (at left in the picture). Bill Craig, my friend, mentor and former pastor from my home church was able to be there (next to Tom in the pic). And of course, Peter's grandparents were able to be there (from the right: Peter's maternal grandparents and then his paternal grandparents). Peter is now officially a child of the covenant, which in no way secures his salvation but does hold him, his parents, the church and God to certain promises (covenants). I am thrilled to have him grow in faith and maturity in this congregation of believers.

The installation was powerful and, frankly, probably one of the best installations ever recorded in Presbyterian history. I mean, seriously, when has it ever happened that three Presbyterian ministers preached and the service came in under 70 minutes? A friend of Tom's, the Rev. Joelle Beller, preached the sermon based on Joshua 1:9.

Bill Craig laid the charge on the congregation - emphasizing their role as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ rather than focusing on the importance of their doing everything Tom and I tell them to do. While I like the idea of the latter, I suspect the former was more important and biblical. Nerts.

Dr. David Dobler, former moderator of the PC(USA) and current Executive Presbyter of the Presbytery of the Yukon, laid the charge on me and Tom. His text came from 2 Timothy 4:1-5:
1 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-- with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

Wow. Frankly, I was hoping he would stop with the reading of the Word. But no, he had to continue on to, with scalpel-like precision, apply it to both of us. A heavy burden indeed - I am glad that I don't have to carry it alone.

So there's a brief summary of Sunday for those of you who were unable to make it. Know that we missed you all dearly and that you are often in our prayers and on our minds.

God bless.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

On Top Of The World...


...or on top of Anchorage, at least. I have to confess, climbing 1,300 feet in a mile and a half was a bit taxing for this very-out-of-shape-and-recently-moved-from-Florida person. Was it worth it? Oh my yes. In the picture you can see the Anchorage bowl spread out behind me. Flattop Mountain is about 3,000 feet high, so it is by far not very tall - at least by Alaska mountain standards, but it is on the very edge of the Chugach Mountains, and it is pretty much a straight shot down the front of the mountain into the southern end of the city. I am sitting here at Burger King (did you know that Burger King at Dimond and Old Seward in Anchorage has free wireless internet? Now you do...) looking at it right now. It really is a striking mountain, considering that it has, well, a very flat top. That short dayhike has certainly wet my appetite for exploring the wonders that these mountains and valleys around Anchorage hold.

If you're in the area and are interested in going for a hike, let me know! I'll find the time in my schedule to make it happen.

God bless.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Various Vignettes From The Past Two Months

It's been a while since I've blogged, so I thought I'd toss out some updates on what's been going on and how things are going since I last posted, in no particular order. So, let's get to it, shall we?

There is a moose sleeping in my back yard right now. Yes, I mean right now. As in, at 11:30 Alaska Time, this moose has been hanging out in the same spot for over two hours. Earlier, there was a second moose, who eventually wandered off to eat a tree or something. But this moose is still there. Karey can't get enough of the moose. I think it's pretty cool, too. Joe, the cat, is hiding under the bed. Peter's been asleep and has missed the whole deal.

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Speaking of moose, I got stuck behind one on the way home from church this morning. I came around the corner and it ran out in front of the car and just trotted down the road. As with the previous vignette, only in Alaska.

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Peter turned one year old today. Wow. He has six teeth, smiles and laughs a lot, is walking short distances (like across a doorway), and cruises like crazy. He received a ton of presents from family and friends, but loved the little black car that you pull back and watch it goooooo the most. So glad we spent all that money...

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We're up to about 15 hours of sunlight each day now. I've read that we'll have 24 hours of daylight (not sunlight, but daylight) in the height of summer. Needless to say, our primary household project revolves around blackout curtains or shades for each bedroom. Funny, venetian blinds that worked great at night in Florida just don't seem to hack it when the sun is shining on them at 10:00 PM. Go figure.

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Tom, the senior pastor at the church, has been on a semi-silent retreat at a monastery for the past two weeks. He returns on Thursday. That means, if you haven't figured it out already, that I've preached the last two Sundays in a row. I have a much greater respect for pastors that preach every single week now. I mean, don't get me wrong, I teach youth group every week, but there's just something different about planning a worship service and sermon, along with everything else. Everything seems to have gone very well, but I'm looking forward to his return this week.

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My laptop went up in smoke last Wednesday, one hour before youth group. You've got to understand, I mean literal smoke. Like the "there's something on fire" kind of smoke. Since I use it to teach every week, I wasn't really happy about the situation. After I got home, I took a look inside and it appears one of the several chips on the graphics card decided to give up the ghost. Hopefully, this will end up being a convenient opportunity to get a new laptop.

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Since I last posted, I have officially been ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church (United States of America). That happened the last weekend in February. I meant to blog about it, but I had to preach the next day and (insert laundry list of excuses here). Nothing really changed, except now I can administer the Sacraments and moderate Session - oh, and I achieved a goal I've had since I was in high school. Like I said, nothing big.

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Tom & I will both be installed on May 15. If you happen to be in the area (heh), it would be great if you could make it. The Installation is at 5 PM, at the church. I'm excited because my parents and my in-laws will be there. In addition, Peter will be baptized during worship that morning.

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Some thoughts on the nature of change (see earlier post), our desire for the illusion of stability (see earlier post re: the illusion of control), and some other general theological issues have been percolating in my head recently, but nothing is coherent enough to post about (yet). Hopefully, I'll be able to get some of those thoughts down soon.

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One of my buddies from Florida is coming up in June to lead the Men's Retreat here. I think I'm far more excited about getting to share Alaska with a dear friend than I am about the retreat. That's ok though, right?

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They're forecasting highs in the mid-60s this week. Alaska hasn't seen temperatures this warm since September or October. Quite frankly, it feels great.

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Did I mention that it snowed on Easter? Not some wimpy little flurry mind you, but like 4"? Yeah, and it snowed every day after Easter for the rest of that week. We were supposed to get 6" or so a bit over a week ago, but the front shifted north a bit, so we got a light flurry, and the Mat-Su (read: Matanuska-Susitna) Valley received 18". I always miss all the fun.


That's all I've got right now. Kind of felt like a rock skipping across water reading this, didn't you? If you only knew how it felt to live it... The past two months have been awesome, quite frankly. All of us are doing very well, with the exception of the 5,000-miles-from-our-friends-and-family issue. I'd like to say that I'll post more often in the future, but I know better than to make promises like that.

God bless you all.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?

Why yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Not only that, but I heard it as well. You can click on the title of this blog to see technical information about the quake.

Today we experienced our first earthquake. It was relatively small, as earthquakes go. Things rattled and shook, but nothing moved significantly or fell. It was quite similar to a jet rumbling houses and buildings near the airport when it takes off, or slightly stronger to a large truck passing by, or slightly weaker than your neighborhood teenager driving by with his stereo at full volume. Ok, I'm kidding about that last one, but just barely.

The interesting thing about it was that you actually heard the earthquake before you felt it. The mountains did tremble and shake. There is a song, whose title I stole for this blog, that immediately came to mind. The song is about the incredible power of all of creation singing God's praise - and the impact that will have on the world. Here are the lyrics to Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble:

Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you hear the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one

Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you hear the singers roar?
When the lost began to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one

And we can see that God you're moving
A mighty river through the nations
And young and old will turn to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord

Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your peace
Dancers who dance upon injustice

Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokeness

And here we see that God you're moving
A time of Jubilee is coming
When young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord

How incredible to think of the earth shaking from the unified voices of the saved and the lost singing praises to our Lord and our God. Having now felt the mountains tremble, it almost sends chills up my spine to think of that day.

How long, O Lord?

"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."

Friday, February 04, 2005

Ch-ch-ch-changes

What is the saying? The only constant in life is change? How true is that!

Our church is undergoing incredible amounts of change right now. Most folks aren't even aware of the seismic shifts that are underway in the church - although they should get a good taste for it this coming Sunday in worship. Why so much change? Simply because two new pastors have been hired at the church. Myself and the new senior pastor. He started two weeks ago, I started at the beginning of the month.

I have recently become aware that there are roughly two schools of thought on how to introduce change to a church.

Option A:
Take your time. Earn "chips" with people by loving and serving them over the course of the year. Learn about the various cultures at play that may be different from what you're used to: church culture, community culture, regional culture, etc. Take time to find out what the church has done in the past that has, and hasn't, worked. Before inventing the wheel, find out if they already did. After about a year, then begin introducing change, but only after educating and preparing the people. It's slower, but is less controversial. This option was taught to me by my seminary professors and was also counsel I received from the pastor of my home church. Good stuff.

Option B:
When new staff is brought on board (especially when you're talking about an entirely new pastoral staff), people expect change. Therefore, you have a window of opportunity of which you need to take advantage. For adults, that window is about three months. It is much less with teenagers. They want to see that you were worth hiring and that you are actually doing something, so go ahead and do something. That isn't to say what you do should be thoughtless and reckless, but that it is OK to make changes right away. Especially if the ship is sinking and no one seems to be aware of that fact. If the Emperor has no clothes, say so. This is the option that the new senior pastor is taking at our church.

Part of my attraction to Option B lies in a recent experience. At youth group, during my second week on the job, one of the youth asked me, "When are you going to start running things?" Wow, did that ever catch my attention. From his perspective, I had been on the job for over two weeks but didn't seem to be doing anything. Everything looked and felt exactly the same as it did before I arrived. On the other hand, some less-recent experience nudges me toward Option A. When I began serving, for the first time, as a professional youth worker, I made significant programatic and structural changes to that ministry right off the bat. While everyone said they thought it was a great idea, I found out that I stepped on a lot of toes and upset a lot of the wrong people right away. I think it was a contributing factor, although it was a small contribution, to my only staying at that church for two years.

So which option is right? Perhaps both. I find myself oscillating between the two. Perhaps there is a middle ground somewhere inbetween that can be struck. That, I think, is the ground I am shooting for. Of course, it's a lot easier for me. Because the changes that the SP is making are so significant, anything I do is going to seem like flipping tiddly-winks around the room. The radical changes that I'm thinking about can not practically be implemented until the fall anyway, because they involve significant calendar changes - and folks already have their calendars set.

Regardless, change should never be done on a whim. It should always, and only, be done with a strong awareness of the weakness being addressed and how the change will strengthen the ministry overall. Whichever path you choose, someone will be irritated, annoyed and upset. Hey, get used to it. That's life.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Only One More Hurdle To Go!

Today I cleared the second-to-last hurdle before I can be ordained. WooHoo!

This morning I had "Final Assessment" with the Committee for Preparation for Ministry. If I passed (and, obviously, I did), then I would be approved to be examined on the floor of Presbytery. That examination would be the last hurdle I have to clear before I can be ordained, which will happen at the end of February. The end is in sight!

How did it go? It was absolutely one of the worst experiences of my life. So far, my meetings with the CPM had been fairly non-traumatic. This meeting, however, was everything I dreaded and feared in these meetings. No matter what I said or did, it was the wrong thing to say or do. There was absolutely no pleasing these people. Of course, they did approve me to be examined and to receive a call (which I already have, which is why I'm in Alaska), so I guess I did something right. I'm not going to go into details on the experience. Since I passed, I don't need to belabor it any more. I did that most all day today. It's probably time to let it go.

So now I turn my attention to helping my wife and son adapt to life in Alaska. We fly back on Monday. Additionally, I will being preparing for being examined at Presbytery at the end of the month. With some tweaking of my statement of faith, I should be able to avoid some of the annoyances of today. I won't be able to avoid everything, but I should be able to smooth out some rough spots. And, I don't think I'll have as hard of a time in Alaska as I did down here.

It's supposed to snow in Anchorage at the end of next week. That'll be nice.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Ok, So Maybe I'm Wrong... but I'm still not convinced

The latest issue of Mobile PC has an article comparing driving drunk to driving while talking on a cell phone. The gist of it is that it's better to drive drunk than to talk on a cell phone (hands-free or not) while driving.

So maybe talking on a cell phone while driving is a bit more distracting than I tend to think. But I'm still not fully convinced.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Cell Phone Idiocy

Allow me to qualify this post with a disclaimer: There are a lot of stupid people who do stupid things when driving and talking on a cell phone, and those people shouldn't be allowed to drive (or breed, probably). Heck, they shouldn't be allowed to walk and chew gum at the same time, either.

That being said, I am absolutely against any type of legislation that makes it illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving (hands-free device or not). I heard a morning DJ ranting about this and how cell phones should be banned in cars, yada, yada, yada. I must confess, it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Why do they want to ban cell phones? Because it's a distraction. That's true. But unless you are playing a game or trying to write a text message on your cell while driving, is it really any more distracting than having a conversation with a passenger in the car, changing the radio station, or changing CDs? Nope.

So I say, fine, ban cell phones from cars. Just be sure to be consistent about it and ban conversations, changing radio stations, CDs or anything else that might be distracting. Heck, let's just make it easier and ban people from cars altogether. That should solve the problem - along with a lot of others as well.

Alpenglow

Ok, while not technically fitting the actual definition of alpenglow, the mountains last night and this morning were simply incredible. There was a full moon that cast this stunning, luminescent sheen on the snow. I'm pretty sure I've never seen anything like it, and guarantee I never saw anything like it in Florida. The mountains never look the same two days in a row.

Just about everywhere we've travelled, folks have said something to the effect of, "if you don't like the weather, just wait ten minutes and it'll change." I've heard this in Ohio, Virginia, South Carolina, Maryland, Florida, Alaska, and a few other places. And everyone says it as if theirs is the only place with that characteristic. I've come to the conclusion that everyone is lying. With the exception of transitional places (like where the mountains and plains meet), I just don't think it's true.

However, I can genuinely say that every day here in Anchorage is different and unique. The temperature, the weather, the mountains, the Inlet - each day is different than the one before. Compare that to Florida where, with the exceptions of hurricanes, the summer forecast is 98 degrees with thunderstorms at 3 PM, and the winter forecast is 75 degrees and sunny. Every. Day.

Many people say that Florida and other tropical destinations are paradise. If that's the case, then this is heaven.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

So...This is Alaska...

If there was any question in my mind before, there is absolutely no doubt now. This is Alaska. Yesterday the temperature never rose above 0 degrees farenheit, and today it snowed all day long. It is simply amazing. Each day I am overwhelmed by the wonder and beauty of this small portion of this magnificent state. I look forward to seeing more of Alaska in the coming months and years...and even more, I look forward to sharing this incredible place with my wife and son after they arrive.

Some news reached my ears from Florida today: One of the pastors at Covenant Presbyterian Church in Oviedo, FL (which meets at Reformed Theological Seminary, from which I graduated) died while preaching Sunday. Coincidentally, he was preaching on heaven and had just said "When I get to heaven..." You can read the news article about it here.

I also learned that one of my former professors, Dr. Ron Nash recently suffered a major stroke. I do not know the status of his condition, so please keep him and his family in your prayers.

It has been a busy week of learning names and how things work around the church. Trinity has an incredible spirit about it, and there is definitely a sense of excitement with the new pastoral staff coming on board. The new senior pastor, Rev. Tom Letts, and his family arrive later next week. I'm looking forward to meeting him and partnering with him and the church in ministering to Anchorage.

Saturday, January 08, 2005


The beginning of the sunset Posted by Hello

The end of the sunset Posted by Hello

Friday, January 07, 2005

The Illusion of Control

As of yesterday at 3PM ET, everything in my life that is precious to me is now in someone else's hands (from my deep, emotional side: my wife and son; from my shallow, materialistic side: my cars and every single thing we own) with the exception of very little (from my deep, emotional side: my cat; from my shallow, materialistic side: my laptop, pocket pc and some clothes). I didn't realize how much I didn't like that idea until I watched the movers drive away. Saying goodbye to my wife and son this morning just hammered it home.

I think the incredible natural disasters of the past six months, combined with the war in Iraq and the like, has made it pretty clear that there is very little that anyone actually has any control over. I don't think that people actually desire to be in control, although we phrase it that way. What we want, really, is the illusion that we have some modicum of control over our lives. Cognitively, I know I have no control over my life. You go through four hurricanes in 6 weeks and try and tell me you have control over your life. However, my heart still wants to think that it has control over my life, no matter how small, no matter how much of a delusion that might be.

Perhaps that's why I haven't been sleeping so well lately. There is a dissonance between my head and my heart, and my heart doesn't like it. However hard it might try to cling to the illusion of control, right now it just isn't possible.

So, I find myself leaning on the Lord in a way that I haven't for a very long time.

I think my heart would find that comforting if it would stop being such a control-freak for a moment. But that would mean letting go of the illusion of control.

Ah, nothing like a nice catch-22 to give a fellow a headache.

Still not yet, but almost!

I'm still not writing from Alaska, but nearly so. Right now I'm hanging out in Seattle-Tacoma International Airport for a couple of hours. Thank goodness I don't have to go through that Orlando-Seattle leg again. 5 1/2 hours in the same seat with no legroom just isn't exactly my idea of fun.

I'd probably be more excited about this trip if I had gotten more than 4 hours of sleep last night, and more than 5 the night before. It's odd, insomnia has never really been a problem for me before, but sleep just didn't want to happen the last few nights. Hopefully things will be better tonight, considering that I'll be dealing with approximately a 28 hour day.

Doesn't that just sound like fun?

Monday, January 03, 2005

Well, not yet anyway...

For now, it still 'From Florida, with love.' But only for a few more days. The move and transition begin later this week.

This is my entry into the world of blogging, bringing my family with me. What can you expect to find here? Various ruminations on living in Alaska, following Christ, ministry, the Church (big 'c' means universal) and the church (little 'c' meaning demonination or local, context should make it clear...emphasis on 'should') as well as life in general.

How often will it be updated? Whenever the mood strikes me and the time is available.

Enjoy!